If you know me AT ALL, you know that I like to make goals. And not complete them. The idea of making a goal and picturing myself fulfilling it, dazzling. The idea of actually doing the thing I planned... snooze. bore. ugh. I'd rather not.
One of my goals since probably the 4th grade was to read all the books on my reading list. I could never complete that goal even back when my reading list included Junie B. Jones, a couple Judy Blume books and Harry Potter. Each year my list/stack in my room keeps getting bigger, and I seem to never even make a dent in it.
I also have a horrible and lovely habit of perusing every book store I come across in this incredibly artsy city and buying too many books. I walk away with a bag of hopeful books under my arm who are excited to finally get out into the real world and get read, who are sick and tired of staring potential readers in the face thinking to themselves "read me!! pick MEE!" They have finally had their day, they have been bought, and look forward to the day all too soon when they can finally make their buyer a happy reader. But that day has never come for some of the books I have picked up, some as many as 5 years ago, and I am tired of the suffering being caused on my account. (that's also why I don't own a bookshelf: I like to think all the books I buy are tired of being on a shelf and never getting read. Instead they are placed on the floor in stacks and never read. At least it's a change of scenery).
This June, I have read 4 books already and I am already on my way to a 5th. Hopefully this will continue! That's about half as many as I have bought this summer, so maybe my stack will get steadily smaller instead of steadily bigger. So far I have read:
The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis
The biggest thing I have learned from this story is that our lives are not our own. I won't give away too many plot details, but basically what I have gathered is that we have no control over our own lives, even though we think we do. This may sound depressing, but I think it is a beautiful thing. There is a God out there fighting for our souls to be brought back from the darkness, and He is in control of us. The more we think we can do it on our own, the more susceptible we are to being controlled by the Devil. If we surrender control (which is a funny phrase, because did we ever even have it to begin with?) we are opened up to a wonderful world that God has set out for us. And we can fulfill His plans, which are always better than our own to begin with.
I spent most of the time reading this book in my bed before I went to sleep, the adequate place for waterfalls of tears to fall at the beauty of Lewis's words.
Love Does, Bob Goff
This is a book of many stories, and some of them stuck out to me more than others. But the one that I think had the biggest impact on me was the very first chapter. It talks about walking through life with people, not judging, not trying to change them, but just loving them and being there. That is something I think the world and more Christians need to know. It's something I myself have been working on. You can't save people. You can't change them, you can only love them. And love is something I think Bob Goff knows a lot about. I would HIGHLY recommend this book. For anyone. Seriously.
I read this book in about 2 days, mostly at a little place called Spyhouse Coffee that I'm sure I've mentioned before.
The Perks of being a Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky
This book. I'm not quite sure. I liked it, but I hated it. I mean, you have to read it. But I don't think I ever will again. It made me so sad, but also really happy. I did learn a lot, but I can't quite place my finger on what it was exactly, if that makes sense. It changed the way I think about things. It made me realize (on a sad note) that everyone has struggles. I knew that, duh, but it made me realize it in a fresh way. EVERYONE has things they are ashamed of. And everyone just wants to know who they are and where they belong. But, (on a happy note), everyone has these struggles. And it's a beautiful thing. Everybody hurts sometimes, and that's something we have in common. And that's what friends and family and important people in your life are for. To share the happy and the sad and everything that life has to offer. Okay, let's put this cheese back in the fridge, it's starting to stink a little.
I read this book in many places, so I could people watch and imagine their stories while I did. Some of the places included Lake Calhoun, Rustica Bakery, and my living room.
Is Everyone Hanging out Without me? [And other concerns], Mindy Kaling
I have always loved Mindy Kaling. But now, I have so much more respect for her. I love her honesty, her vulnerability, and her amazing ability to laugh at herself. I also love her carefree attitude towards life, how she seems on the outside to have glided through it to her position now, but she openly admits all the embarrassing auditions she went to and everything she struggled with. I love her humor, and her life story is incredibly inspiring. She also openly admits to a bunch of nerdiness that I can completely relate to, like not understanding what 'hooking up' means and to watching comedy on Saturday nights with her parents. She is basically great.
I would read this on my back patio often, laughing out loud every minute of the time I read it and completely freaking out my neighbors.
I am very proud of myself for having read these books in June. Some of you may be saying things like "oh, I read that many books in a week. During the school year, on top of homework." To you I saw, props, but sorry you use your time too well. I am proud to have a collection of unread books. They're like my babies. I will let them make me happy one day.
xoxo
