I didn't make any art today. Whatever.

In my last post I said I had a lot going on. Thirty hours later, only now do I realize how really and truly true that was.

Last night I felt more overwhelmed than I ever have. I'm the kind of person who doesn't really get stressed until I absolutely could not have ANYTHING else on my plate without physically breaking down. And last night was the first time I really broke down.

So no, I don't have any art to show today. I didn't really get much done today, other than studying for a test I have tomorrow. Because I've decided to take things one day at a time.

You know the moment you really lose control and finally realize that you actually can't do it all on your own? Last night, that was really real for, I think, the first time in my life. I really can't do anything at all on my own. Who can? Honestly. Why do we even think that way? Bogus, I tell you. Insanity.

It's a really beautiful thing to break down. Bear with me.. but I honestly think that it's one of the most redemptive and healing things. There's something special about emptying yourself of all your known worth and power, and surrendering it. There's a humility that wasn't there before, and there's a trust that wasn't there before. There's a new laughter at the absurdity of life that wasn't there before, at least not in the past few weeks.

Today I did wonderful things that made me really happy, too. In class today we all worked together to make plaster molds, and sometimes everyone helping out and assembly-line type stuff really gets me. Like we all worked together and bonded and our clothes all got really dirty together and it was wonderful.

Immediately following that I went for a run outside in the rain. It washed all the silicone and plaster off of my dry skin and felt like an angel bath in whipped cream and coconut water. It was cold but super refreshing, you know, like after a long day of sledding in a fresh snow and then coming home to a roaring fire and hot chocolate. It rocked.

Those kinds of things really help. To focus on one wonderful thing at a time, only thinking a few hours ahead of yourself, only focusing on the good that's happening. It's been a good day post-breakdown. It somehow always is, you know?

Whitely sings a great song called 'More Than Life,' <-- and this was fantastic, it helped a lot. If you ever find yourself in a situation like this.

Yay, thanks for making it to the end of this pictureless post and for being with me in my honesty!

Happy Wednesday (almost Thursday!)